What is Social Intelligence?
It's more important than IQ.
The key to a successful career and life is social intelligence.
Social intelligence sounds fancy but what does it actually mean?
We know about intellectual intelligence (IQ) and emotional intelligence (EQ), but we don't hear much about social intelligence (SQ).
Until now.
The definition of social intelligence
My definition of social intelligence is:
The ability to successfully navigate social situations to accomplish an objective.
To navigate social situations, you must understand how humans operate and adjust your approach to secure the most favorable outcome.
You must:
- Read the behavior of others.
- See people in a realistic light.
- Understand what motivates people.
- Adhere to group dynamics and customs.
- Accumulate knowledge of human nature.
With an understanding of human nature, you can maneuver intelligently and accomplish your goals.
The two components of social intelligence
There are two components you need to balance in order to build your social intelligence:
- A specific understanding of human nature.
- A general understanding of human nature.
Specific understanding
This is the understanding of individual people.
Observe and read them. What motivates them? What are they afraid of? What do they value? What makes them unique?
The answers to these questions will help you work effectively with individuals.
General understanding
This is the understanding of the patterns of human nature as a whole and how people generally act in certain circumstances.
For example, if you know how negative qualities arise in people—envy, passive aggression, ego, laziness, etc.—you can predict how they will react. You will understand why your peer was dismissive of you or why they aren't being helpful.
Understanding general patterns helps you predict how people will react to you and the situations they find themselves in.
How to start building social intelligence
Now that you are aware of social intelligence and accept that it exists, you need to take action.
Pick two people that you work closely with and ask yourself these questions:
- What is the main thing they care about?
- How can I help them accomplish their goals?
Then take action to interact and help them.
Over time you will build a relationship. Figure out how to use that relationship to accomplish what needs to be done.
Failure to do this will stall your growth.
"To develop your intellectual powers at the expense of the social is to retard your own progress to mastery." (Greene, 146)
References
Greene, Robert. 2012. Mastery. Penguin Books.