How to Lead When People Behave Differently

Anthony Soltero -

If you want to lead, you must understand the baseline behaviors of those around you.

Be conscious of their emotions, interests, and problems. If you're oblivious, you won't know when someone is feeling "off". You won't be able to help them. They may drag you and team down with them.

If you understand peoples' baseline behaviors and know when they deviate from it, you can get them back on track.

Distress can cause a change in behavior

If you notice someone acting different, they might be distressed.

If you continue to interact with this person as usual, you won't be able to lead them effectively. If you sense that something is different, change your approach.

A change in behavior is a signal that you must lead them differently.

How to notice a change in behavior

Make sure you're aware of others in every interaction you have.

Whether it's a social interaction, a brainstorming session, a review meeting, or a disciplinary conversation, analyze and evaluate the other person's word choice, body language, tone of voice, and overall temperament.

Once you have an intuitive feeling of their baseline, it will be easier to notice changes.

Spot changes by noticing if people are:

  • Smiling less
  • Talking less
  • Less friendly
  • More friendly
  • Unusually abrasive
  • More stressed than usual
  • Overly polite, nice, and complimentary
  • Short in their speech, responses, and conversation

If you notice any of the above, step up as a leader and change how you interact with them.

You have the opportunity to smooth out their distress.

How to lead after noticing changes in behavior

You should act differently based on new information.

Treating people the same way when they are in a different mindset is a mistake.

Take a step back and realize what they need.

If you support them the way they need to be supported, the team wins.

You can:

  • Take work off of their plate. They may be overwhelmed and stressed.
  • Listen and let them vent. They may need to release some pressure.
  • Give them space and don't butt in. They may need solitude.
  • Provide feedback and advice. They may need guidance.
  • Become a closer friend. They may need connection.

Leadership doesn't exist in a vacuum.

It's your job to pick up on the frequencies of others.

Do your direct reports, peers, managers, friends, and family a favor.

Pay attention and lead.