4 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Declining a Request
Don't fall into the trap of "no".
When someone at work (who's not your boss) asks you to do something, don't automatically say, "no" like the common advice tells you.
People tell you to protect your boundaries and that saying, "no" is a critical skill. Those people are missing the benefit that comes from saying, "yes". You won't reap the benefits if you say, "no" to every request you get.
Before you you say "no", ask yourself four questions.
1) Will saying "yes" strengthen our relationship?
Top-performers should strive to have high social intelligence, which means having strong relationships with colleagues.
People don't like being rejected. Declining a request robs you of the opportunity to build a relationship. When you say yes, people like it. They like it even more when you over-deliver on your promise (see question #3).
With "yes", you have the opportunity to strengthen a relationship that will come in handy in the future (see question #4).
2) Will saying "yes" allow me to learn something new?
Never pass up the opportunity to learn and improve.
Sometimes requests force you to learn a new skill, try a new technique, or communicate in a new way. You won't find these opportunities in a vacuum, so when someone makes a request that forces you to learn, take it. You don't always get support from your boss to learn new things, but it's undeniable when there is a business case for it.
Learning accelerates career growth, don't take your foot off the gas.
3) Will saying "yes" and over-delivering build my reputation?
Robert Greene's 5th Law of Power states:
So Much Depends on Reputation—Guard it with Your Life
People talk...and they will talk about you.
So give them something positive to talk about. When you say yes, you have the opportunity to wow your colleagues with the quality of you work. If you say no too often, people aren't exposed to your capability.
When people notice your capability, they know how much you can offer.
4) Will saying "yes' help me build leadership capital I can use in the future?
Leadership capital is the currency of influence.
When you do things for other people, you build leadership capital. You earn the right to ask for something else in return. But don't ask for favors immediately. Continually support them, help them, answer their questions, do their work, brainstorm with them, listen to them. All of this builds up your leadership capital.
When you say yes to their request, you make a deposit that you can cash in on later.
A request isn't only for the requester, it can be for you too.
But only if you know how to get value from it.